"I'll Never Let Go Of Your Hand..."
Day 1_ Davao '06
My birthday
5th of October
Event: 19 long months - Finally, i am fulfilling my promise to see you...

Woke up 15 minutes earlier than my alarm clock settings! wow! di naman ako ganun ka-excited ano?

"Happy birthday Y..." You got the best gift for yourself... hmmm... nothing can ever go wrong...

all check... OK

arrived at the MDA at 03:28 - walang pila! you're really on to a very bright day pal! God is good...!

checked in 03:41, paid the terminal fee 03:44, settled in one of the seats, tried to read some pages of the book: "he's just that not into you", stand up - decided to have a cup of coffee and a donut 03:59, half way to my steaming coffee, my flight was called 04:05am... whoah! that was early... my flight is scheduled at 04:20...! goodness! got to finish my coffee.. need to pee... hurryyyyy!!!

boarded the plane 04:12am, prayed solemnly for a safe flight/trip (i can never erase my fear of flying), the plane taxied and was on air by 04:18:39...

weather was good, got some rough airs in the visayan area, experienced some more until before touch down... but everything went okay... i've got a mission you see and i am to accomplish it... for myself... for my peace of mind... the gods are with me...
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i was too early... m was expecting me to arrive at 8am.. we touched down at 6:45. got my luggage. settled down and tried to read some more of the book...
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sent m a message... "just tell me when you're here na..." and exchange some more... -she was still home by the time i sent her the SMS... entirely my fault...

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i actually planned to hail a taxi and get to rosal street by myself... contemplated whether to go or wait while trying to concentrate on my reading... decided against it as it may offend her and her mom... so i waited...
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finally... there you were...

i waved and said my awkward hello... (jeez! i'll never be good in these things) it was way way far from what i've rehearsed...

at least you were cool... gave me a quick "beso-beso"

we were mostly quiet on the way to your home...

i'm trying to get my wits back..
you're probably trying to think of something to talk about

i think you've talked about mr. m along the way.. it was too soon for me... i was still trying to adjust to you... how you are... alam mo yun?... naninibago pa ako sa 'yo... i don't know what to say... the last time we talked face to face na masaya ka pa at at very ease sa akin was 1st week of december 2004. nanibago ka na two weeks or a week before ng ating forced leave... and pagdating ng january 2006... you were very indifferent na... it was too soon for me and you were a bit quiet na siguro talaga so i'm weighing kung paano ako mag-respond...

i need to not be serious... kailangan kong maging at ease and i know i can't be... anyways, it was ok... maybe i'm just this different... i was lost - into you... i think it's inherent sa akin na i-analyze ka... automatic e... your eyes look different... ewan ko...basta... so i was caught off-guard... that i've forgotten all the happy lines... na nirehearse at inihanda ko... ganito pa rin ako... wala talaga sa tono...

so we arrived at your house by around 8am... greet your mama and said hello to sky... yen was preparing to go to work... she was running late...

i didn't have idea of our itenerary... and i didn't expect any... i was just glad to be there... so oks lang na tinulugan mo ako after breakfast ... kahit na hindi ako ang pumuyat sa iyo... still, pasensya na... kasi ako yung reason ba't kinailangan mong magising ng maaga... hehehehe!

anyways, so tinulugan mo nga ako... after breakfast (which you said you cooked... giniling na karne with baguio beans, if i am not mistaken. tama ba) ... i tried to read and fought my sleepiness... i was too proud to admit i only got to sleep for barely two hours... but i guess i dozed off and on a bit... your ma and i talked for some time... don't know if you were awaken at any point of our conversation...

so you "woke" up at 10:30 and then you prepared lunch by 11:00... i've got a serving of your "pwede ng mag-asawa" lunch of sinigang na hipon by 11:45... while i was washing the dishes, you shoved to me m's "ID" picture that he "gave" to you for you to scan and attach to his resume... i took a quick look 'coz still i wasn't prepared for that...

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i wanted so much to talk about him ... wanted so much to know everything about sa inyong dalawa... wanted toa sk you so many things ... i just didn't know how... and i didn't think i can do that na nakikita ka na nagkukuwento... i can't think straight kasi... nakikita ko yung frustration mo... which i wanted to erase...
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we went to your office to check on the status of your "report"... i visited the church from across your branch office's building... said some prayers... took a little walk going north... wala lang magawa... went back to church.. took a nap...

we dropped by your dermatologist's clinic to buy some of those formulas you apply to your face... sorry i can't name them... don't know what they are called... went to aldivinco - for me to buy souveneirs... wala dun ang isip ko so i really didn't know what to buy or whether to buy anything... so while waiting for marie to text me their bilin's i tried to look for something to buy for myself.. didn't find any... but forced myself to buy anything... soemthing... and that something cost me more a little over 2T (the 800+ was for eden's bilins)... goodness... was i that proud...? but you said it wouldn't be hard for me to think of anyone to give it to... i just kept my mouth shut... i didn't have anyone to give it to... i am not very fond of giving gifts... because i have only a few people na pwede kong maisip na mabigyan nun.. and ayaw mo naman ng kahit ano kasi sabi mo taga-dun ka na? siguro nanay ko na lang ang bahala mag-dispose nun... anyways, ok lang... wala naman talaga problem si nanay mag-dispose nun... marami sya mapapagbigyan nun...

we left my loot sa suki mo na store and went to pick up the pansit and tokwa't baboy you ordered... for my birthday... wow! ang mura naman ng handa ko... then i insisted on buying a cake for your birthday.. so we went to sm to buy my new found mango flavor of cake of red ribbon... then umuwi na tayo... picked up my loot sa pag-uwi...

tahimik ka pa rin... so, i wasn't able to sleep much... even though we retired to bed early... i wanted to talk to you siguro kaya lang... i didn't know if it was okay... nagbasa ka pa ng bible e... di ko alam if ok lang... saka di ka rin naman nag-open ng topic... saka... maaga pa tayo dapat gumising the following morning... anyways, bottom line is we were still not talking...

hmmm... i think i was able to sleep around 3am naman...

that was how my first day with you went... nice... but lacking for so much more... but still nice... it was my birthday... it was my birthday present... how can it not be nice...? oh yes! i remembered! you greeted me happy birthday nga pala after yen greeted me... Ü no problem... it still is my birthday present... my first day... and three more days to go... don't want it to end that soon...